Murphy's Law
by Jen-NCIS-Lover
Summary: "If anything can go wrong, it will" is a law the Atlantis Expedition have learnt to live by. So why not create their own list of laws for Atlantis Life including "McKay's Laws of Fools", "Zelenka's Law of Handling McKay", and much more!


**Murphy's Law **

**Series:**** The Books Over The Mess Hall Door**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own SGA or any of the characters or the book "Murphy's Law and other reasons why thing go GONRW"  
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**Summary:**** "If anything can go wrong, it will" is a law the Atlantis Expedition have learnt to live by. So why not create their own list of laws for Atlantis Life including "McKay's Laws of Fools", "Zelenka's Law of Handling McKay", and much more! Complete, Oneshot  
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**A/N- Just an idea I've had sitting in my "New Ideas & Paused Stories" folder that I decided to finish :) I didn't like the original version so I switched it up to this, which now belongs to the "The Books over the Mess Hall Door" series that I've been slowly working on (also in the NI&PS folder). The series description is below :) This was originally the second in the series but the first isn't finished so I'm doing this one instead. Anyways, Enjoy!**

**Series Description: **_It started with a single red notebook, placed over the mess hall door as a joke, for all to read. When others began adding to it with their own thoughts, more books appeared. And so, this one joined the others and people began writing in their comments or just reading and laughing at the others._

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"_**If anything can go wrong, it will" **_**are the immortal, and oh so true, words of Captain Ed Murphy. They are also words that the Atlantis Expedition have learnt to live by.**

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It all started with a single red notebook with a few, simple words written across the first page. Placing it on top of the mess hall door, anyone who knew about it could add their ideas to it. What started out with two or three people quickly became most of the expedition. And so, the list began:

_Murphy's Law_  
>If anything can go wrong, it will!<p>

_Zelenka's Law of Handling McKay_  
>Smile because tomorrow will be worse<p>

…,…_John's Addition To Zelenka's Handling Law_  
>Gifts of coffee and Jello can be lifesavers<p>

_McKay's Law of Fools_  
>Make anything foolproof and not even a fool will use it<p>

_Elizabeth's Rules of Good Negotiating_  
>Things get worse under pressure<p>

_Carson's observations of life_  
>Using the words "How bad can it be" will make it horrible<p>

…,…_Lorne's addition to the observations of life_  
>As are the words "It can't get any worse.<p>

…,…_ McKay's addition to the observations of life_  
>Avoid use of the phrase "What can go wrong" as well as "Nothing bad will happen".<p>

_McKay's Law of Fools_  
>But it is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so indigenous<p>

_John Sheppard's Truth of Off-World Missions_  
>NOTHING is EVER as easy as it looks<p>

_Ronon Dex's 3__rd__ Rule Of Life_  
>If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyways.<p>

_John Sheppard's Truth of Off-World Missions_  
>Mother Nature can be a downright bitch!<p>

_McKay's Thoughts to Off-World Travel_  
>You can't tell how deep a puddle is until you fall into it and drown<p>

"RODNEY!"  
><span>"What? It's true."<span>

_Ronon Dex's 19__th__ Rule Of Life_  
>Don't get angry, get even<p>

_Zelenka's Law of Handling McKay_  
>If you want to get along, go along<p>

_Elizabeth's Rules of Good Negotiating_  
>Leave it alone, and things tend to go from bad to worse<p>

_McKay's Thoughts to Off-World Travel_  
>Everything takes longer then you think<p>

_John Sheppard's Truth of Off-World Missions_  
>When things go from bad to worse, and you think it just can't get any harder, it will<p>

_McKay's Law of Fools_  
>The absence of hot water is a great motivator<p>

…,…_John Sheppard's addition to the Law of Fools_  
>As is turning on the fire sprinklers in someone's living quarters<p>

"By the way McKay, I still haven't forgiven you for that yet."  
><span>"How many times to I have to say, it wasn't my fault!"<span>  
><span>"Yeah sure… and it was just a coincidence that I had stolen your chocolate stash the day before then…"<span>

_Evan Lorne's Rules to Daily Life in Atlantis_  
>Always walk fast, it minimizes the amount questions<p>

_McKay's Law of Fools_  
>People always offer to work AFTER is has been already finished<p>

_Carson's observations of life_  
>It's always the last place you look<p>

_Zelenka's Law of Handling McKay_  
>He who yells the loudest has the floor<p>

_McKay's Law of Fools_  
>Computers are often unreliable but people are even more unreliable!<p>

_John Sheppard's Rules of Ancient Tech_  
>When all else fails, read the instructions<p>

_Ronon Dex's 2__nd__ Rule Of Life_  
>Shoot first, ask later<p>

_McKay's Thoughts to Off-World Travel_  
>Always carry chocolate… it's great for bribing small demons<p>

_Carson's observations of life_  
>Nothing ever looks as hard as it really is<p>

…,…_Lorne's addition to the observations of life_  
>Nothing ever looks as easy as it really is<p>

_McKay's Law of Fools_  
>Never piss off a geek<p>

…,…_John Sheppard's addition to the Law of Fools_  
>EVER<p>

…,…_John Sheppard's addition to the Law of Fools_  
>Or if you do, use any or a combination of the following: Chocolate, Coffee, Begging, Apologizing, RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE<p>

_McKay's Thoughts to Off-World Travel_  
>Protect your friends at all costs. They're the best thing that will ever happen to you<p>

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**A/N****- Hope you all enjoyed! **

**Reviews are loved, but please no flames!**

**Thanks for reading!**


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